Love Again
1.
i am a whiskey gut of an ex-lover
i am syringed into the side of the vein
and that is the way i learned to love
drunk, and face deep in another man’s
Pocket waiting for him to spread like
dandelions
maybe that’s why my body
has so much bark on it
and i wait for him to leave me open
like a rusted can, for our mouths to
become bear traps not set, for him to
chew at the loose bones of my
fingertips, for him to say that is
enough
2.
do you remember when we were kids and
our hands spoke with all the knowledge?
the sandbox, our textbooks what am i, if
not skin filled with sand? and your arms
just buckets pulling parts of me away to
read again
3.
i guess that’s how the story is always written
love born in the back of a cab, crying
and sweating unhinging and reclaiming jaws
4.
the story goes…
at the parade, the boy kissed my mouth
like an airsoft gun, i could taste my salt
in his gums. i held the hands of a boy i
just met in the back of an uber while his
husband sang along to drake in the front
seat we made the summer innocent, made
it wine sweet slightly bittered, drank in
the back of a pick up truck
ain’t that america?
5.
in the spirit of full disclosure, i am a
guitar missing three strings i make a
different sound when my tongue opens
i have seen my body spill over for the
wrong kind so many times yet i regret
nothing from this
to be young and in love and holding the
hands of a man on a street that won’t
accept you to become not the wall but the
ground under it and for that to be enough
6.
all my favorite hats all say LOVER on
them it must mean something
right?
7.
in seventh grade, i was afraid to touch the
other boys during the pickup games in
gym class maybe i was afraid they would
touch me back
8.
i have learned how to aerosol can my
feelings back into my stomach and i am
just waiting for the right thumb to come
and press me so i can paint myself all
over them to make them a portrait i can
recognize