On My Way To The Doctor
disheveled
on my way to glimpse my uncertain future
I see you walking toward me through the sidewalk swarm
we used to be friends
inseparable
until the ruse of time
stole the years and dissolved us
no one's fault perhaps
and now...
I smile at the sight of you revealed through the crowd
a wish granted I never knew I made
and you see
the surprise of me surfaces for you with a wave and quickened pace
the city's racket cresting washing over us
cleansing everything but this moment
and we hug with years of unspent affection
you look good I say
(he does
robust athletic genetically cheerful)
so do you he lies
Christ how long has it been
Danny's party before I left for Brazil
we talk quickly
trying to sweep up the spilled years
running down the list of questions we all have in reserve
job kids mates apartments
and stop for a breath when we run out of details
all useless really
just providing the sounds we're swapping
like birds
to let each feel the union
the intercourse of the moment
we're usually too guarded to share
I'm so sorry I slept with your wife I don't say
hoping he never looked in that drawer
his eyes are vast and say he doesn't know
it's mine alone
another deed that festers in me
another small bomb of regret
perhaps one reason I have this appointment
we have to get together he says
a dinner
I'd love that I say
and we both mean it
both believe we can reel in the past and make it now
at least I do
another hug
time kindly stopping again
and you're doing well he asks
studying my astigmatic appearance with concern now
yeah yeah just coming from the gym didn't have time to shower I lied
good then good
yeah good you too
I'm the same contact info
me too
so...
once more we wrap ourselves in each other
soon he says
yes soon I hope
and filled with the warmth of us
I walk to the doctor to discuss my options.