Petition: Rename and replace "deadlift" with "diddlybop"
"Deadlift" is a harsh term. It has come to my attention that some people
may end up dying at some point in their lives. These people might be
worried about this potential death, and in a small but disproportionately
vocal group of these people simply the term "deadlift" is enough to spark
outrage. As such, any usage of the term "deadlift" should be redacted and
replaced with the term "diddlybop" as this is a more lighthearted term to
describe the act of lifting dead weight from the ground, and one that does
not contribute to the existential dread of death.
Support for this petition may or may not create a U.S. Senate
subcommittee whose job will be to scrounge through each citizens' social
media accounts to search for the term "deadlift" and report said citizen for
violating the hate speech policy to the authorities at Twitter and Instagram.
It is the responsibility of the user of malicious terms such as "deadlift" to
protect and shelter those who may be offended by these types of terms and
not the responsibility of the offended to avoid situations in which they are
exposed to potentially offensive terms or to simply "toughen up" as some
may put it.