The Inconvenience

attention all subway passengers:

we are currently experiencing slower than normal travel times 

due to a 

Personal Injury

at track level.

 

we apologize for 

The Inconvenience

and thank you

for your patience.

 

clean-up crews have been dispatched to the scene

and we expect 

The Issue

will be resolved momentarily.

 

as always, it is our goal 

to ensure a safe and comfortable journey. 

we apologize for 

The Delay.

thank you for your patience.

 

we want to assure you that we take

Customer Satisfaction 

very seriously.

 

to avoid 

Such Delays 

in the future, we pledge to devote one-tenth 

of all underground advertising space to hotlines dedicated to

Crisis Prevention.

 

(however, please be advised that cellular service is currently unavailable in most of our subway stations.)

 

attention all subway passengers:

The Delay we were experiencing is now Cleared

and regular service will resume momentarily.

 

thank you for your Patience.

J.V. Davis teaches philosophy in New York. His writing, both scholarly and otherwise, is intensely preoccupied with death for some reason.

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