Useless Knowledge
Did you know: my gynecologist’s name is Steve
We talk about how icy the roads are this morning
Before he dons powdered latex gloves
to stick me with a cold steel speculum
Did you know: Steve is 57, 5’8’’, and 210 pounds
Inside the Quinta Inn he’ll shout “grab the headboard”
which means for $400 an hour you can sit on his face
listen to him grunt, contemplate the popcorn ceiling
Did you know: You can fuck Steve (if you have good insurance)
Or pay Steve to fuck you (it’ll be $200 copay)
Did you know: Steve secretes secrets
they ooze beneath the gold shellacked elevator door
into rooms full of other girls contemplating the same
popcorn ceiling listening to other steves shudder
Did you know: Steve is a scientist, technical
Likes to divide and classify
symbolic from real, baby from daddy,
pathology from perversion, patient from whore
Did you know: Steve will pay you in cash (if you want to stay opaque)
Or can send it via paypal (if you’re already transparent)
Did you know: Steve has an expansive vocabulary
He knows 12 different ways to say
Pelvic interior, sheath, vulva, vaginal vestibule, pudenda, scabbard,
genitalia, crotch, sex parts, pussy, cock suck, daddy’s dead end
Did you know: Steve knows everything
Did you know: I do too